random musings

occasionally I have to drive the kids to daycare due to Jessica having bus duty. Even though it makes my commute to work almost an hour, it is interesting to change up my normal drive to work routine, listening to music instead of talk radio. Rylee likes to sing along to songs, while Ian obviously listens, and gets annoyed if I turn the music down, telling me that he "cant hear the music, turn it up!"

Music always makes me think.... usually its a reflective sort of thinking. As I have gotten older, I have changed somewhat, even doing a 180 in regards to my thinking on how I approach things and feel about things.... Thats why I find it ironic sometimes when I address the Fraternity about things, or sometimes talk to a brother about situations. I can remember similar situations happening in the past, and I KNOW exactly what they are thinking right now, and why. Its just that the experience and results and the ramifications I now know about, and they dont. For example, a brother has talked to me about not "talking" to another brother who they consider to be a friend. I told her to go to that person and talk to them, at least make an attempt to work things out. because I know too well that a few days turns to weeks, which then turns to months.... then suddenly you dont even remember what it is you are tiffing about. And I now come from the perspective that time wasted trying to not talk to someone is time you will never get back. And you'll be sitting somewhere 10 years from now wondering just what it was that was so important that you would not talk to a friend, a brother, for weeks...and you will realize that that was pretty childish, and dumb. I can remember tlking to Lynn a couple of years ago, and we talked about a spat we has almost 15 years ago ( man, time has gone by) where we didnt talk for a coupleo of months...and I found it interesting that we couldnt really remember exactly what it was that made it so big that we would not talk to each other, especially being as good friends as we were. That was time that we can never have back. Time that could have benn spent talking about other things, doing other things.. ...so iguess the moral of the story is this. If you are on the outs with someone, either you go talk and act like an adult ( agree to bury the hatchet, agree to disagree...whatever) or you simply decide to not be friends. But as I have told the one person, if you make a legitimate attempt, and the other person acts a fool and tries to give half ass excuses as to why they dont want to talk..try again. i fyou try again, and get the same result... well, then you have at least made an attempt to fix teings, and if the other person wants to play highschool drama?..well...let them learn the lesson on their own, when 10 years from now, they will be sitting somewhere, and it will dawn on them...and trust me, it will... that the screwed up a good thing.

I think having my kids and realizing how fleeeting all this stuff is has sombered me a bit. Seeing how much joy and fun the twins have, just because...how close they are to each other. It makes me sad to think that one day, they will have to say goodbye to each other...be it for college, work..whatever. Oh, the marvels of the internet, cell phone, etc will mean they can keep in contact if they wish... but I know that the best laid plans are well...you know the story. I think about Kristen, Josh, Erik...Lisa, Tj... Kim.... hell, Lynn and Brandy are less than 30 minutes away and its hard for me to keep in touch with them. These days i find myself wondering what they are doing...how are there kids?...are they happy? truly happy? I wonder how John Kennedy is doing with Pam, etc.... What is Billy McGee ( my closest high school friend) is doing....he lives in Greenville, is a lawyer...AND I NEVER TALK TO HIM!!!! sigh.... What of Jennifer, Chris, jennifer, Glenn, Allison?...what of Mike Connelly and David Price? what about Wideman and Michelle Dyer? ....sigh..Im not sad or anything..I just know that, as I approach another birthday, my times and ability to everr see people again are getting fewer and fewer.... Thats why I just shake my head when i hear of brothers and friends not talking....

My 20th high school reunion is coming up in May, as well. I think I am actually going to go. and no, that isnt why I am writing this sad sack post... As I mentioned earlier, I emailed Beth Riddle , er Beth Ramey now, to ask her to send me info again. Beth was , as far as my know blurry recall of elementary, and junior high lets me remember, the one person I could call a rival back then. We were close friends (close as in grade school, elementay school kinda close can be) and I remember that we were alsways comparing grades, and we were usually at the top of our class. We got to high school, and, despite being in the same classes, kinda went into separate groups...especially because I was in band, and you band guys know how that is.... she then went on to marry the The President of our Senior Class, the Quarterback on our State Championship football team ( you get the picture?) ..and she told me she is teaching now at our old grade school and has 4 kids, etc. at any rate, I just wonder the same sort of questions as those about my more recent friends.... sigh....

I guess I started this post because I was listening to this song with these lyrics....

Good morning, yesterday
You wake up and time has slipped away
And suddenly it's hard to find
The memories you left behind
Remember, do you remember?

The laughter and the tears
The shadows of misty yesteryears
The good times and the bad you've seen
And all the others in between
Remember, do you remember
The times of your life? (do you remember?)

Reach out for the joy and the sorrow
Put them away in your mind
The mem'ries are time that you borrow
To spend when you get to tomorrow

Here comes the saddest part (comes the saddest part)
The seasons are passing one by one
So gather moments while you may
Collect the dreams you dream today
Remember, will you remember
The times of your life?
- Paul Anka